"This Is The Thing" I don't know if you notice anything different. It's getting dark and it's getting cold and the nights are getting long And I don't know if you even notice at all That I'm long gone And the things that keep us apart Keep me alive And the things that keep me alive Keep me alone This is the thing I don't know if you notice anything missing Like the leaves on the trees or my clothes all over the floor And I don't know if you even notice at all 'Cause I was real quiet when I closed the door And the things that keep us apart Keep me alive And the things that keep me alive Keep me alone This is the thing And I don't know if you notice anything different I don't know if you even notice at all This is the thing
Watch me fall from grace, Disappear with no trace, As I try to erase you. Feel the pain and watch me bleed, Surely this is not what I need. Shut out everyone, and watch me run. Lay me under the sun So cold I have become Now that I have been undone It is me you ignore As you shut the door I don’t deserve this pain anymore. I know that I’m worth so much more Than what I give credit for It is me I need to adore. Watch me fall from grace, Disappear with no trace, As I try to erase you. Feel the pain and watch me bleed, Surely this is not what I need.
After watching "Dream of a Life" about the life and more than tragic circumstances of the circumstances surrounding the death of Joyce Carol Vincent I am starkly reminded about our fragility.
The blackened chimneys of the steelworks have been
towering over the town for what seemed like an eternity. Like guards watching
over the townsfolk over centuries hustling and bustling under the castle in the
olden days.
Seeing generations of young men entering through the
forbidding gates made of steel and barbed wire, coughing them back out after a
few decades of pouring burning iron into the golden lined purses of Mr. and
Mrs. Fuck-Off-you-peasant-bastards with permanent blackened faces lining the
red eyes of tired and sick old men, who have nothing left to live for other
than sitting on rotting porches drinking piss beer waiting to die.
Jack had joined to the queue like his father and
grandfather before him. Within a few short years it seemed he had fast
forwarded into old age, turning into a carbon copy of something he still wasn’t
sure it was a good thing or simply stupid.
Looking across the car park he saw a 1978 C3 Chevrolet
Corvette, with the black and silver stripe painting and the 5.7ltr. engine of
the limited edition to mark the 25th anniversary of the most
beautiful car ever having been built… Just like the one he had bought in the
mid 1990s when all his mates were either into the Camaros, the 1990s Ford
Mustangs or the silly Pontiac Trans Am. He had to sell his when the twins
arrived. Back then it seemed a sacrifice worth making. Now he saw a young lad
stepping out of what was certainly his most prized possession. Jack could see
the pride and joy in the young man’s face looking at his car. It was like
looking into a mirror. Damn, was that only 15 years ago? Maybe even less?? Time
had become the steady drip feed of poison that began to drain the life out of a
body that was not that old and worn out yet. He didn’t dare think any further
so he switched off the radio in his people carrier piece of heaving shit and
his brain like he did every morning…
The lights
had gone out and red lights started flashing. Two thoughts were desperately
fighting for my attention at once. The first was: How did I get here? And the
second should have been: This isn’t right.
As the
cabin started to fill not just with ice-cold water but also a decidedly
unfriendly sound of an alarm my brain only managed to come up with: fuck, shit,
fuck….shit.
The speed
with which the water rose didn’t allow for any investigations of phenomenological
or metaphysical nature. I had to get out of here. And quick.
In the old
days this would have been my easiest spell. But the 21st century
isn’t a good place for fairies or any magical creatures come to that. And the
bridge of a sinking cold war era submarine is certainly not a good place for a
fairy with, well, lets say substance using issues.
For years I
had a cosy place in one of the old yards at the Plymouth docks but since those
had been knocked a few years back, all the other places had been taken up by
stupid bats. Would you believe it? There were laws protecting these ugly filthy
fuckers. And what about us? Take Iceland for example. Over there we even have a
ministry! I should have followed cousin Ernie decades ago, never mind the cold.
Damn, what wouldn’t I give for some smack, right now. OK, focus. How long can I
hold my breath? What’s the name of that washed out mermaid again? She’d had to
come if I only could remember her name. Just like that.
Inspirations:
The three
slips randomly selected provided the bones of it.
Substance
using (Iron Man 3 – Ben Kingsley’s character)
Bats –
discussion I had with Brian one the first day he showed me Saltash when we were
talking about bats and Cameron changing the laws.
Fairies,
mermaids and other magical creatures in the 21st century: American
Gods
Driving
on the boring road as I call her. And
after that on the stupid road and then the slow road. Before I get to the house
trying to be as silent as possible, not to wake her up just yet; before it is
her turn to clamber in the hamster wheel.
Again
and again and again.
I
change the radio stations. There is nothing worse than the good humoured radio
presenter who is so funny and so awake so early in the morning. The mind can
play tricks on you after a long night but it would be so nice, so different, so
life-altering if she would be really pregnant. It can’t be or can it?
And because its lasing rain and the day is coming to its inevitable conclusion a bit more dreamy stuff from Jonathan Wilson
When we hear your friend of the road Explaining your natural glow We have been waiting completely For every piece of your heart And later when you are all alone Let it rain down upon you What you've always known There is no confute Only kinks in your heart And when you were a child Space melted marrow made you smile Indeed the natural rhapsody And if you're still waking to life in the go No water, no fire in your bungalow Just whisper good friend To the healers on high The sweet grasses of spring In biblical times Shapes dance and echo In an instant tomorrow's a leap And when you were a child Space melted marrow made you smile Indeed the natural rhapsody When we hear your friend of the road With your rebel demeanor And botanist tongue Come closer where leaving The shapes that we drew in are shifting When is all said and done We are but dust on the horizon Indeed the natural rhapsody The natural rhapsody The natural rhapsody
Check this out! Brilliant singer-songwriter. Born in London and living in Devon may I present to you: Ben Howard - "End of the Affair"
Living without her living at all seems to slow me down living forever hell, I don’t know do I care, do I care the thunder’s rumbled sound. now I watch her running arround in love again now I talk about you when I’m with our mutual friends end of the affair the weight of the world a kindness gone to bed free of your laughter a liar after all did he hear, did he hear the fumbled words you said? oh living without her living at all seems to slow me down living forever hell, I don’t know do I care, do I care the thunder’s rumbled sound? now I watch her running arround in love again now I talk about you when I’m with our mutual friends (2x) this is it this is it what the hell? what the hell, love? what the hell? what the hell, love? and his own website: http://www.benhowardmusic.co.uk/
...I paid 350 bucks to get a true image of somebody. Why are people so effin stupid? Keep praying to the paper god... One day they ll get you. And you had it coming.
Something kissed my lips Something Something busted my fingertips The north binds battle In the car park And the darkness Somewhere The night is on the run With a bottle of ouzo And a rusty gun The north wind Is like a Spanish guitar Soaked in petrol Burning on the bar Let the dead raise their heads And the dying leave their beds
She didn't believe what her mama said And she climbed out the window in the darkness.........
And behind you in the night A million dogs come out to fight
In the empire that will be rising Rising through the night
Something Something give me strength I'm burning Burning on the brink The north wind Is like cinnamon and wine And the darkness Is the darkness
Aimee Banks sings "O Mio Babbino Caro" The girl is 11. Eleven!!! Just amazing. Can somebody sing more authentic? So natural? I wish her the best of luck.
...I am back blogging. Its been 2 years and those years wont go into the big book as good years.
Surrounded by darkness, friends in need, poor souls, tortured with no way out or too shaken to stand still. and then some
who just left. in anger. but mostly too early. they didnt ask or say anything. Just left. Us. Me. In tormoil. Too many questions unanswered.
Want answers? You wont get them. not now, not ever. Forget it and fuck off.
Scars, new ones beside the old ones. on top. beneath. like spaghetti. or Mikado.
And all
you need, sometimes, is just a hug. A real one. Like a moment. A real
moment.
and then we start running again... everything just not to stand
still.
(Elbow covering U2 - Running to stand still)
One day it will be over. For you, yes YOU, and me, ME. But as Robert keeps saying: DONT FEED THE MONSTERS. They are all small in the beginning before they grow and grow and grow.
Enough time wasted. Lets get to it. I wont wait for you, no more and never again. Life is on my back, gotta go. Made a plan and worked out so far. Impressed myself today, keep at it. Nobody else to (impress). So here we go.
Alabama Shakes - Always Alright
And one for the road (a bit cheesy, but hey, F... it)
Anna Kendrick - Cups (Pitch Perfect's "When I'm Gone")
Some people are apparently getting upset about my blog. To bring an end to this upset I decided to close this blog. I have hurt and upset people - for which I pay my price. Thats for sure.And needless to say I am sorry, but I want to do it nonetheless.
I was delighted when I was introduced to Blogging to me as a different form of expression. Starting in February of this year blogging over the last 10 months or so has helped me an awful lot to work out some personal stuff but also experience a different way of addressing issues to another audience than in a conversation or letter, email, sms, etc. In this instance it doesnt matter how real or virtual it is. It also doesnt matter who many or how few people are reading this. It is not a Blackboard or way of announcing things that should be dealt with in another way. This and other things I have learnt from it.
At this point just this: As good an outlet it has been, it also has been inlet for things getting to me. Some good, some bad. I have to close this window for now. But also learn more about blogging - legally, intellectually and psychologically. I might be back, I might not.
I d like to thank every body everybody who has followed my blog and wish you all the best for the future and good luck.
Hanno
P.S.: Welcome to the new world. And may God save you, if it is right that he should do so.... ;)
Ich bin der Geist, der stets verneint!
Und das mit Recht; denn alles, was entsteht,
Ist wert, daß es zugrunde geht;
Drum besser wär's, daß nichts entstünde.
So ist denn alles, was ihr Sünde,
Zerstörung, kurz, das Böse nennt,
Mein eigentliches Element.
I am the Spirit that denies!
And rightly too; for all that doth begin
Should rightly to destruction run;
'Twere better then that nothing were begun.
Thus everything that you call Sin,
Destruction - in a word, as Evil represent-
That is my own, real element.
...are the random acts of kindness. In 20 years of experiencing and 10 years of living in Ireland to this day I am always caught by these random acts of kindness. Somebody walks up to you and does something completely unexcpected and real nice. These people can be acquaintances but preferrably they are strangers (we all are strangers almost everywhere...). For example 20 years ago I was somewhere in Ireland trying to hitchhiking home. As it was getting late afternoon that day and I didnt have money to stay somewhere I decided to take a bus. Now, there was this busstop and while I was waiting another shower (after a year in Ireland you barely notice this "moisture") soaked me but I didnt care. Anyways, some 50 yards up the road an old lady came out the house and walked to the busstop. She told me the next bus would be another hour away and invited me to her house for a cup of tea (in 1992 they didnt have these fancy coffees - and cappucino was a horse....). At the time I was wearing a black leather jacket had long hair and 6'4" (1.90m) tall. Would you let any stranger (who was also very skinny and looked very hungry) into your house? She gave me towel so i could dry my hair and we had the loviliest conversation ever.
Dont ask me what we were talking about, or what her name was or where in Ireland it was. But I will never forget this cup of tea and sandwiches she made for me. And I also remember the feeling I had when the bus arrived (we nearly had missed it, but the driver was waiting when she signalled hin to wait form the porch) and I was sitting then on the bus - warm, dry and well fed. And at that time I had not given myself the time of the day. It was the best ever.
Followed closely by the second of the Ten Best of Random acts. When I arrived in Galway in November of 1992. Being very hungry and no money in my pocket again I arrived with the bus (it really was a luxury to afford a lift when you have no money at all) and was walking with a man who I had a brief conversation with on the bus across Eyre Square. He then invited me to an early lunch (I must have looked really really hungry). Just like that.
Whenever I am seriously fed up with the home of my choice these things happen. I dont know any other place in the world where you have this. It can happen everywhere but in Ireland its part of the lifestyle. And you do it to other people as well. No big deal. it just costs you a minute of your life. or an euro or two. But it certainly makes your day. Not because you are great. F... that. No, its the randomness of it all. Or as the Irish would say:
What goes around, comes around...
another one along those lines:
Be always nice to a stranger, he could be a friend
Sadly the Irish losing it a bit. the same in the north of wales. Like Ireland "slightly" developed and the people are pissed off. And in 2011 the UB40 Song is all actual again: Money is too tight to mention... No, for oldstyle - go to the south of wales. Not that developed, not that efficient. but more human and nicer. Quality of life - the essential bit the irish lost when they started dancing around the golden calf...
The events in my personal life of the last months of 2010 and beginning of 2011 until now do require some musictherapy, so here it goes:
Goo Goo Dolls: Iris
and break it did.... And it was foolish of me to think, that it ever could have gone somewhere. But I dont regret any of it.
She says: Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for; it is a thing to be achieved.
Seriously, Natalie, I wish you get it, with happiness and all. And even though it still hurts but may you get there.
Personally I am not sure and still thinking about it. Actually there is very little right now I am really sure about, but I guess that is one of the inevitable parts of the journey, the bit they call picking up the pieces after falling apart and before getting up again. I am slower than others and I hang on longer than others, but that is me. What is on the cards next though? For the first time in my life I am thinking about getting a house. A small house, like a cottage or so. Here in Ireland. But it would be my house.... well, that would be an interesting one, have not done something that big before. Because its a big one, like real big. I am not there yet, but we ll see.
Coldplay - Fix you
Rascal Flatts - Broken Road
Taj Mahal - Take a Giant Step
Katy Perry - Not like the movies
Philip Poisel - Halt mich
Hope...
Neill Young - Soundtrack Deadman
The New Radicals - Someday we'll know
Even though it was never meant to be, i like to think, that this would have been possible. In the best of all possible worlds, that is...
Thought of You - by Ryan Woodward
The Truth and nothing but the truth in one sentence...
Trading Yesterday - Shattered (MTT Version)
And Ive lost who I am
And I can't understand
Why my heart is so broken
i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart) i am never without it (anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling) i fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true) and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
and for some people its worth looking at the lyrics.
Gym Classe Heroes: Stereo Hearts
"Stereo Hearts"
[Adam Levine:]
My heart's a stereo
It beats for you, so listen close
Hear my thoughts in every no-o-o-te
Make me your radio
And turn me up when you feel low
This melody was meant for you
Just sing along to my stereo
[Travie McCoy:]
Gym Class Heroes baby!
If I was just another dusty record on the shelf
Would you blow me off and play me like everybody else?
If I asked you to scratch my back, could you manage that?
Like yea [scratched], check it Travie, I can handle that
Furthermore, I apologize for any skipping tracks
It's just the last girl that played me left a couple cracks
I used to, used to, used to, now I'm over that
'Cause holding grudges over love is ancient artifacts
If I could only find a note to make you understand
I'd sing it softly in your ear and grab you by the hand
Just keep it stuck inside your head, like your favorite tune
And know my heart's a stereo that only plays for you
[Chorus:]
My heart's a stereo
It beats for you, so listen close
Hear my thoughts in every no-o-o-te
Make me your radio
And turn me up when you feel low
This melody was meant for you
Just sing along to my stereo
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh to my stereo
Oh oh oh oh to sing along to my stereo
[Travie McCoy:]
Let's go!
If I was an old-school fifty pound boombox (remember them?)
Would you hold me on your shoulder wherever you walk
Would you turn my volume up in front of the cops (turn it up)
And crank it higher everytime they told you to stop
And all I ask is that you don't get mad at me
When you have to purchase mad D batteries
Appreciate every mixtape your friends make
You never know we come and go like on the interstate
I think I finally found a note to make you understand
If you can hit it, sing along and take me by the hand
Just keep me stuck inside your head, like your favorite tune
You know my heart's a stereo that only plays for you
[Chorus:]
My heart's a stereo
It beats for you, so listen close
Hear my thoughts in every no-o-o-te
Make me your radio
Turn me up when you feel low
This melody was meant for you
Just sing along to my stereo
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh to my stereo
Oh oh oh oh to sing along to my stereo
[Bridge:]
I only pray you'll never leave me behind (never leave me)
Because good music can be so hard to find (so hard to find)
I take your hand and hold it closer to mine
Thought love was dead, but now you're changing my mind
[Chorus:]
My heart's a stereo
It beats for you, so listen close
Hear my thoughts in every no-o-o-te
Make me your radio
Turn me up when you feel low
This melody was meant for you
Just sing along to my stereo
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh to my stereo
Oh oh oh oh (Gym Class Heroes baby!) to sing along to my stereo
A Journey through megalithic Britain and Ireland. Done by Non-archaeologists. A great programme! Beautiful photography and very interesting views and good questions. And because it was done by non-archaeologists, they get away with stuff, you d be hanged as archaeologist.... :o)
And I like the soundtrack, all spacy and mystical.... 2 hours I didnt regret last night, the same way I didnt regret the red wine that went with it....
Just click on the following 13 parts once the first part is finished.
Thanks to Summertime here is an add-on to Moments.
Shangri-Las - Past, Present And Future
(The past), past, well, now,
Let me tell you about the past.
The past is filled with silent joys,
And broken toys,
Laughing girls and teasing boys.
Was I ever in love?
I called it love.
I mean, it felt like love.
There were moments when,
Well, there were moments when...
(Present), go out with you?
Why not.
Do I like to dance?
Of course.
Take a walk along the beach tonight?
I'd love to.
But don't try to touch me,
Don't try to touch me.
'Cause that will never happen again,
Shall we dance?
Instrumental break.
(The future), tommorow?
Well, tommorow's a long way off.
Maybe someday I'll hold
Somebody's hand.
Maybe somewhere,
Someone will understand.
You know I used to sing,
"A tisket a tasket
A green and yellow basket."
I'm all packed up and I'm on my way.
And I'm gonna fall in love. But at the moment it doesn't look good, At the moment it will never happen again. I don't think it will ever happen again.
PAST, PRESENT & FUTURE
Written by: Artie Butler, Jerry Leiber & George "Shadow" Morton.
Produced by: George "Shadow" Morton.
Performed by: The Shangri-Las11a2-1966.
Appears on: "Past, Present & Future" (B-side: "Paradise" 45 RPM)-1966, Teen Anguish, Vol. 2-1972* The Red Bird Story-1991*, Leader of the Pack-1992, 1999, 2003 & 2004; Myrmidons of Melodrama-1994 & 2002, The Shangri-Las Greatest Hits-19963, The Best of the Shangri-Las-1996, 1999 & 2003, The Very Best of the Shangri-Las-2000, 20th Century Masters: The Millennium Collection-2002, Gold Collection: Feelin' Groovy-2004*, The Leaders of the Pack-2005, Golden Legends: The Shangri-Las-2006, The Shangri-Las Remembered-2008, et al. (*Compilation of various artists.)
everybody has them. Some more than others. Some sooner than later. Pity most of us dont notice because we were too young and too busy with something else. They are normally over in a whiff. And yet they are to die for.
No matter how much and how often you get it in the neck, you can't stop chasing them. And then they happen when you stop looking. Taking the eye off the "ball" for a moment. And thats when the moment happens...
If you look at it with business perspective you should never "invest" in enterprises like love or care. The "returns" do not justify the resources put into it, and yet - it will take split seconds once you get the the scent...
Ah sure, feck it...
On another unusual mild november evening the full moon is unusually low sitting in the sky, so close as if you could grab it. And if you bring your jumper you could be sitting at the dock of the bay and take it all in.....
An archaeologist who I know once said, when asked what the secret of successful writing is: Place your behind in a seat and keep it there.
I keep wondering, if he left out an important piece of information: the magic chair!
Now, that would be an artefact to have. Forget the arc of convenant, the holy grail or the magic cartpet. find me the magic writing chair.....
Steppenwolf - Magic Carpet Ride
In another but similar (and by far not as nice) way Manfred Baron von Richthofen put it: Success flourishes only in perseverance - ceaseless, restless perseverance.
...on the savage coast besides writing a research design what strikes me, is how we are often humming away songs without really listening. Take a "random" musician who you might have labelled as shallow and poppy and listen to their lyrics. And then you realize, boom, heavy and deep... My lessons for today: LISTEN, WATCH, READ.
Buddy Holly & The Crickets-It Doesn't Matter Anymore
(Sweetheart wont like that, really)
Dolly Parton - 9 to 5
(Boss not happy, but he doesnt care either.... ;o)
must be every year sworn upon by thousands of Galwegians: next year I will walk the Prom every single day..... Needless to say there are not as many who actually do it.
On a day like today (in NOVEMBER) you simply HAVE to. Sadly I didnt bring my camera, so I borrow a picture which is close enough to capture the gloriousness and beauty of the Prom in Salthill, Galway.
